Fuck Twitter.

When it comes to the newest technologies, I’ve always been one to three years behind the curve. Digital cameras? I rocked my old Polaroid till my cousin decided to use it as a doorstop – and it didn’t stop the door. Cell phones? I think I was the last college kid in America who still used a land line…and I shared it with 35 other people (oh, the glories of Assata Shakur Co-op). Twitter? I’d rather shoot myself in the face then tweet about what I’m wearing to the freaking Warriors game.

I’m not a total Luddite, but all this techno nonsense makes me feel like we’re more connected to our keyboards and less to each other. What’s that you say? I’m not a Luddite, just an asshole who doesn’t want to follow your incoherent, sounds-like-a-four-year-old-orangutan-except-an-orangutan-would-might-have-more-interesting-things-to-say posts on Twitter?

You got me.

But eventually, I crack too. Modern capitalism always seems to find its way into my utopian dreams, and somehow I too am on Facebook. And Myspace. And this blogosphere thing right here. A plane can be used to drop bombs — or bring together the World Social Forum. Everything has its own context. Yes.

Still, there comes a point when it’s all too far. Don’t believe me? Check the video below, and tell me what you think about Flutter. It’s a satire here, but just wait till it actually happens.

…and I’ll see you on Twitter in about, hmm, two years.